My Approach
Most couples don’t come to therapy because they don’t care—they come because they’re stuck in patterns they don’t know how to change.
Arguments escalate quickly, conversations go in circles, or one partner shuts down while the other pushes harder. Over time, trust erodes, disconnection grows, and even small issues begin to feel overwhelming.
My approach focuses on helping you understand and change these patterns at their core.
Understanding the Pattern
Rather than focusing only on the surface issue, we look at what’s happening underneath the conflict—how each partner is reacting, what emotions are driving those reactions, and how the cycle between you keeps repeating.
Once you can clearly see the pattern, it becomes something we can work on together—rather than something that continues to control the relationship.
Slowing Down the Moment
In sessions, we don’t just talk about problems—we work through them in real time.
I help you slow down moments of conflict, identify what’s happening as it unfolds, and guide you in responding differently. This is where real change begins—not after the session, but within it.
Creating New Interactions
As we interrupt old patterns, we begin building new ways of communicating—ones that increase understanding, reduce reactivity, and strengthen emotional connection.
Over time, these new interactions become more natural, replacing cycles of conflict with more stable and secure ways of relating.
A Structured, Active Process
My work is not passive. I take an active role in guiding the process, helping you stay focused, and ensuring sessions are productive.
This approach is grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and informed by evidence-based, skills-oriented methods that support both insight and real-world change.
Who This Works Best For
This approach is most effective for couples who:
- Feel stuck in repeated conflict or disconnection
- Are navigating trust issues, addiction, or betrayal
- Are willing to look at their patterns and engage in the process
- Want more than just insight—they want change
Real change in a relationship doesn’t come from trying harder—it comes from doing something different.
If you’re ready to approach your relationship in a new way, the next step is to schedule a consultation.
Jayson Schivley, LMFT 